rough draft.

11th grade writing assesment.
opinions?



He’s walking away. That’s what everyone does, leaves. It’s tragic, really. A boy full of talent and a bright future, but he’s changed so much from who we used to know.
***
Freshman year was lonely until I found my place. His name was Jacob. His soul sang a beautiful melody that became my gravitational pull toward him. We were both a bit tattered and broken finding in each other what we’d lost in ourselves.
Jacob was much like me, just better at it. We fed off each others moods, seemingly being one. Jacob brought many questions and beliefs, astounding me with the depth of his mind. He opened my eyes to the best and worst parts of the world.
But the bad days came - everything can’t stay perfect forever.
The first was in the parking lot. He’d been upset all day, not telling me why. I’d done everything I could to see his pearly whites. That night, he was a different Jacob, one I couldn’t stand, spitting out short, precise words meant to cut like daggers. I exploded in the car. My screaming was deafening, even to me.
His tears fell - my big, strong Jacob was weeping. I’d never seen a boy cry before. I slipped the car in park and wrapped my arms around him. We stayed like that for hours – tears pouring, just hoping everything would get better. This was the first and last time Jacob needed me like I needed him.
I fell in love that night. I knew his tears were for her, the girl who played with his heart and hurt him so badly, but I did it anyway. A terrible idea, I was sure, but I couldn’t stop it. It was beyond my power.
***
Jacob had a profound love and respect for the arts, as did I. They, along with each other, are what held our frayed edges together as long as they could. Jacob's abilities were prodigious. I could have listened to him play the piano forever. His music evoked emotions in me that I was not aware I possessed. I was beyond ecstatic when he wrote a song for me.
“I think maybe you’ll be the one who will save me from all of this and maybe you are the one I need to be with me.” It’s beautiful chords still play in my mind, taking me back. With a simple song, Jacob had saved me.
Still, we fought terribly - both stubborn and sure of ourselves, everything turned into a battle. On a constant rollercoaster, I became weary and sick. Terrible, spiteful words would be said out of anger and they tore me apart. I held on because I knew that the sun would shine again, the smiles would return.
Our friendship became “award-winning.” We did acting pieces together that astounded crowds. Our chemistry reverberated off the walls. Jacob and I go lost inside our characters. People loved watching us; our lines and movements done precisely, but as if they were new every time. I was always so proud of him. I felt I couldn’t take the credit for the performances because, without him, I would’ve been nothing.
Between performances, though, we would fall apart. He wasn’t the same Jacob I knew and loved. He was lost in a nightmare, one he couldn’t wake up from. His smiles were few and far between. I missed them. I missed him.
***
Over the next year, our friendship changed. I realized that my Jacob was never coming back and although I accepted it, it wasn’t easy. The memories didn’t stop playing in my mind. I wanted my best friend back, but I wasn’t sure he’d call me that anymore.
Then one day he needed me - needed me to care, for support, as a comfort. I’d already moved past my loss. I didn’t know how to react, didn’t know how to help anymore.
I began walking away because that’s what everyone does. I walked away from the boy with talent and a bright future because he wasn’t the boy I used to know. His soul’s beautiful melody had become tattered and broken. The bad days had come -everything can’t stay perfect forever.