Little boys are supposed to catch frogs in the grass.
Little boys are supposed to eat with their fingers.
Little boys are supposed to play football.
Little boys are supposed to get messy in the mud.
Little boys are supposed to follow in their daddy's foot steps.
Little boys are supposed to break things.
Little boys are supposed to not give hugs when they're asked.
Little boys are supposed to throw worms at their sisters.
Little boys are supposed to play with tonka trucks.



Little boys shouldn't get cancer.

Leaving, leaving.
Say goodbye for the last time,
darling.
An awkward hug.
Kiss on the cheek.
An understanding that this is it.
Pick up the suitcase with all you
have left.
Smudged mascara from the
tear I wouldn't let fall.
Thinking I'm strong by being
selfishly weak.
Hold a hand; steal a heart.
Take a ride down memory lane
to a time
a place
a girl
a boy.
Where everything,
everything felt infinate.
And it was.
Until the middle of the night.
A buzz on the nightstand -
your name on the screen.
A whispered hello.
A screaming goodbye.
And that's it.
That's all.
Left; shattered; empty.
But now I can't just give up.
Sit back, relax, watch
us fall apart.
Because roses are red,
I start to feel blue,
when picturing
my life without you.
Don't board that plane.
Stay here.
Wake up
and realize that I love you.
Don't board that plane.
There's a whole world out there,
but my world is right here -
trying to be
leaving, leaving.
Don't say goodbye for the last time,
darling.
A hug.
A kiss on the cheek.
Please understand that this can't be it.
Put down the suitcase with all
you have left.
Because you are all I have left.

Kids like us.

I'd give you the world if that's what it took to see your crooked smile.

And I know I'm not perfect.

And I know you're not ready.
Though you say you are.

But kids like us, kids from the wrong side of the tracks.
Kids who stir up havoc.
Impatient kids with too much on their minds.

Yes, kids like us.
We'll never be ready.
Because we don't make plans often.
We let life's ebbs and flows take us where they may.

Yes, kids like us.
We were born running.
To and from.
Good and bad.

Yes, kids like us.
We hand our hearts out on platters.
Vulnerability.
That's what kids like us do.

You broke me and left.
Years have flown by.
And back you come, tail between legs.
Begging for forgiveness.

Was I stupid for giving forgiveness.
Was I smart for giving forgiveness.

Everyone always deserves a second chance.
But your first was ruined before it even started.
So I'm not sure what chance we're on.

But kids like us don't pay attention to chances, do we.
No.
Kids like us don't listen to the past.
Because kids like us live in the moment.

Who am I kidding?

You came back and made me smile.
Smile, for christ's sake.
After all that's happened with us, and I still could smile.
Maybe chances are worth it now.

It was a crowded gym, but I knew your face instantly.
And my heart sank.
I didn't know if i should cry or if i should laugh.
What irony; what coincidence.

What fate.

I'm not much of a believer in irony;
in coincidence;
in fate.
I believe you make what happens happen.

But that moment was so unexpected;
so out of my control.

So perfect?

And now.

Everything is coming together.
Our loose ends have put themselves back together.
We're getting lost in that summer again.

I just don't want to lose all that I lost that summer.
Please.

You know.
That song you played.
Just for me?
I set it as your ringtone.
But it's not the same.

It's not your hands strumming those strings.
It's not your voice softly singing those words.
It's not you.

And I listen.
I let it play all the way through before I answer.
Because for that moment,
I'm lost in a moment.

A moment where everything was perfect.
And everything was right.
And we.
We were infinite.

We.
You and me.

Kids like us.
Kids from the wrong side of the tracks.
Kids who stir up havoc.
Impatient kids.
Unplanning kids.
Kids who take life as it comes.
Vulnerable kids.
Kids like us.

Kids who were born to be infinite.

"Someday I'll be beautiful.
Is this real because I don't feel beautiful.
I feel angry.
I feel silence.
I feel so far away.
I am crazy.
I'm amazing.
I have nothing to say.
I'm pathetic.
I'm a giant.
I'm a moment away.

I'll be beautiful..someday."

i forgot to take off the necklace you gave me
when i showered yesterday.
and it felt like a dead weight around my neck.
every thought that came and went
was just another thing i wanted to say to you.

i hate you.
i hate how you can't even acknowledge i'm alive right now.
i hate how when i need you most, you turn your back.
i hate how i lose my appetite when you say the things you do.
i hate how i can't stand the way i try to make you notice me.
i hate how you say you'll call, but you never do.
i hate how everytime i hear your name, i want to cry.
i hate how every song i hear is just another song that screams your name.
i hate how i can't look at my phone, scared you won't have answered.
i hate how i can't even really hate you.

and most of all.
i hate that you "love" me.
because love isn't fair.
and you break promises.






i know you loved me. you said & you wrote it down.