new layout.
new thoughts.

"never say goodbye because goodbye means going away. & going away means forgetting."
___ Peter Pan

it's not like i thought goodbye was going to hide - buy us more time. but i never thought it'd come on so quickly.

so many goodbyes.

who knew that these people would ever come to mean so much? the ones who enter our lives without a second thought. the ones who are there through thick and thin. the ones who stop being friends and become family.

everyone, it seems, is leaving. they all have a place to go in the world. a place where i'm not.

--

don't say goodbye.
goodbye means going away.
going away means forgetting.

and i can't let you forget. it's in too deep now.

tonight, i pray to spend the night at your side. and maybe i will. i hope like hell i will. because you have found me in a place i can not hide. you've gotten under my skin.

it's bottled up. this need to be there. i want to explode.

do you feel the hunger?
do you feel the fear?
do you feel the hope?

i'm yearning for you to notice like i notice. notice the way we fit. like gloves made just for your hands. perfectly.

but perfection has its costs, as everything does these days. but a soon-to-be two hour drive won't kill this inside me.

i'm in too deep.

knee deep in mud and muck. and i want to get out, but it feels to good... feels so different... so unlike anything i've had before.

feels so... safe.

what is this safeness? is it all a facade? are you playing a role? is this your way of hurting me? i won't notice if you try.

too blinded. in too deep.

i care. and thats what matters. you care. and thats what matters.

close your eyes to see. close your eyes to sleep. sleep to dream. dream to realize.

realize. please just realize. carpe diem. before its too late.

"dear jordan, my hand is empty without yours."

realize that thats all that matters. its another notification into a world where everything can be right.

i want to stay on this high;; stay on this high with you beside me. because it's nice here.

and i enjoy the sun on my face in the freshly cut grass with the birds singing and a lemonade in hand with the whisper of the waves and the dog playing in the shade and the tanlineless shade of brown and the sweet nothings you may whisper. that's what nice reminds me of. perfect days.

lets have perfect, perfect days.