so free, the way i'm floating.
like this thin air can hold me.
just barely above the ground.
knowing it's you between me and gravity.
and without a steady path for me to walk on,
i still feel safe.
it's not like me to just give in, let fate take over.
let you take over.
yet sliding out of the drivers seat was effortless.
sliding into your arms was so effortless.
being here. effortless.
don't you for a second dare to doubt us.
this.
me. you.
a necessity is what you've become.
like my permanent oxygen mask, keeping me alive.
keeping me steady on unsteady ground.
it's you between me and gravity.
it's you holding me together.
you are my toughest, yet most rewarding challenge.
and i'll never give up.
6.28.2009
6.22.2009
i know nothing anymore.
except for you.
i guess i know you.
possibly better than i know myself.
that should be scary, but it's not.
because i like knowing you.
i like knowing that you hate red apples, but love the green ones.
i like knowing that you sleep in a cocoon of blankets.
i like knowing that, more often than not, you are playing cod.
i like knowing that you save lives.
i like knowing that, at the end of the day, i'm the last one you talk to.
i like knowing that you hate uncleanliness.
i like knowing that your brother is your hero.
i like knowing that you wish you could talk to your grandfather.
i like knowing that you're not afraid of trying new things.
i like knowing that you brush your teeth many many times a day.
i like knowing that you get in the hot tub when you wake up.
i like knowing that "love song" is one you often sing, very off pitch to, in the car. (:
mostly i just like knowing you.
except for you.
i guess i know you.
possibly better than i know myself.
that should be scary, but it's not.
because i like knowing you.
i like knowing that you hate red apples, but love the green ones.
i like knowing that you sleep in a cocoon of blankets.
i like knowing that, more often than not, you are playing cod.
i like knowing that you save lives.
i like knowing that, at the end of the day, i'm the last one you talk to.
i like knowing that you hate uncleanliness.
i like knowing that your brother is your hero.
i like knowing that you wish you could talk to your grandfather.
i like knowing that you're not afraid of trying new things.
i like knowing that you brush your teeth many many times a day.
i like knowing that you get in the hot tub when you wake up.
i like knowing that "love song" is one you often sing, very off pitch to, in the car. (:
mostly i just like knowing you.
6.04.2009
passion.
only the second night, i knew of your passion.
like electricity, i was jolted back to life.
and ever since, i've felt your passion.
miles and miles have never, will never, seperate our hearts.
like a puzzle matched perfectly, we must glue them down fast.
and frame them. and hang them on the wall.
show the perfection for all to see.
because i felt your passion.
at the bottom of the stairs while the music was beating to the time of my fluttering heart.
and i knew.
i knew that it was all going to be right from then on out.
and i was correct.
only the second night, i knew of your passion.
like electricity, i was jolted back to life.
and ever since, i've felt your passion.
miles and miles have never, will never, seperate our hearts.
like a puzzle matched perfectly, we must glue them down fast.
and frame them. and hang them on the wall.
show the perfection for all to see.
because i felt your passion.
at the bottom of the stairs while the music was beating to the time of my fluttering heart.
and i knew.
i knew that it was all going to be right from then on out.
and i was correct.
5.14.2009
do you know what it's like
to be lost.
lonely.
or broken?
because watching you walk away today.
killed me inside.
and you didn't even say
goodbye.
lonely.
or broken?
because watching you walk away today.
killed me inside.
and you didn't even say
goodbye.
5.05.2009
5.01.2009
defying gravity. final.
He’s walking away. That’s what everyone does, leaves. It’s tragic, really. A gifted boy with a bright future, but he’s changed so much from who we used to know.
***
Freshman year was lonesome until I found my place. His name was Patrick. His soul sang a beautiful melody that became my gravitational pull toward him. Both a bit tattered and broken, we found in each other what we’d lost in ourselves.
Patrick was much like me, just better at it. We constantly fed off each others moods, seemingly being one. Patrick brought many questions and beliefs, astounding me with the depth of his mind. He successfully opened my eyes to the best and worst parts of the world.
But the bad days came - everything can’t stay perfect forever.
The first happened in the parking lot. He’d been upset all day, not telling me why. I’d done everything I could to see his pearly whites. That night, he was a different Patrick, one I couldn’t stand, spitting out short, precise words meant to cut like daggers. An explosion rang through me in the car and my screaming was deafening.
Then, his tears fell - my big, strong Patrick became a weeping boy. I’d never seen him cry before. I slipped the car in park and lovingly wrapped my arms around him and we stayed like that for hours – tears pouring, just hoping everything would get better. This was the first and last time Patrick needed me like I needed him. I fell in love that night. I knew his tears were for her, the girl who foolishly played with his heart and hurt him so badly, but it happened anyway. A terrible idea, but it was beyond my power.
***
Patrick possessed a profound adoration and revere for the arts, as did I. They, along with each other, are what held our ragged edges together as long as they could. Patrick’s abilities were prodigious. I could have listened to him play the piano forever, using his fingers to plunk out a gorgeous melody that made me want to cry. His music evoked emotions in me that I was not aware I obtained. I was beyond ecstatic when he wrote a song for me.
“I think maybe you’ll be the one who will save me from all of this and maybe you are the one I need to be with me.” It’s beautiful chords still play in my mind, taking me back. With a simple song, Patrick had miraculously saved me.
Still, we fought terribly - both stubborn and sure of ourselves, everything turned into a battle. On a constant rollercoaster, I became weary and sick. Terrible, spiteful words would be said out of anger and they tore me apart. I held on because I knew that the sun would shine again, the smiles would return.
Our friendship became “award-winning.” Our acting pieces astounded crowds – they loved watching the special connection we possessed. The chemistry between us reverberated off the walls. Patrick and I got lost inside our characters. I was always so proud of him and felt I couldn’t take the credit for the performances because, without him, I would’ve been nothing. Between performances, though, we fell apart. He wasn’t the same Patrick I knew and loved. He became lost in a nightmare, one he couldn’t wake up from. He rarely smiled - they were few and far between. I missed them. I missed him.
***
Over the next year, our friendship changed. I realized that my Patrick was never coming back and although I accepted it, it wasn’t easy. The memories didn’t stop playing in my mind. I wanted to reverse time.
Then one day he needed me - needed me to care, for support, as a comfort. I’d already moved past my loss. I didn’t know how to react, didn’t know how to help anymore.
I began walking away - that’s what everyone does. I walked away from the boy with talent and a bright future because he wasn’t the boy we knew. His soul’s beautiful melody had become tattered and broken so I defied gravity. The bad days had come - everything can’t stay perfect forever.
***
Freshman year was lonesome until I found my place. His name was Patrick. His soul sang a beautiful melody that became my gravitational pull toward him. Both a bit tattered and broken, we found in each other what we’d lost in ourselves.
Patrick was much like me, just better at it. We constantly fed off each others moods, seemingly being one. Patrick brought many questions and beliefs, astounding me with the depth of his mind. He successfully opened my eyes to the best and worst parts of the world.
But the bad days came - everything can’t stay perfect forever.
The first happened in the parking lot. He’d been upset all day, not telling me why. I’d done everything I could to see his pearly whites. That night, he was a different Patrick, one I couldn’t stand, spitting out short, precise words meant to cut like daggers. An explosion rang through me in the car and my screaming was deafening.
Then, his tears fell - my big, strong Patrick became a weeping boy. I’d never seen him cry before. I slipped the car in park and lovingly wrapped my arms around him and we stayed like that for hours – tears pouring, just hoping everything would get better. This was the first and last time Patrick needed me like I needed him. I fell in love that night. I knew his tears were for her, the girl who foolishly played with his heart and hurt him so badly, but it happened anyway. A terrible idea, but it was beyond my power.
***
Patrick possessed a profound adoration and revere for the arts, as did I. They, along with each other, are what held our ragged edges together as long as they could. Patrick’s abilities were prodigious. I could have listened to him play the piano forever, using his fingers to plunk out a gorgeous melody that made me want to cry. His music evoked emotions in me that I was not aware I obtained. I was beyond ecstatic when he wrote a song for me.
“I think maybe you’ll be the one who will save me from all of this and maybe you are the one I need to be with me.” It’s beautiful chords still play in my mind, taking me back. With a simple song, Patrick had miraculously saved me.
Still, we fought terribly - both stubborn and sure of ourselves, everything turned into a battle. On a constant rollercoaster, I became weary and sick. Terrible, spiteful words would be said out of anger and they tore me apart. I held on because I knew that the sun would shine again, the smiles would return.
Our friendship became “award-winning.” Our acting pieces astounded crowds – they loved watching the special connection we possessed. The chemistry between us reverberated off the walls. Patrick and I got lost inside our characters. I was always so proud of him and felt I couldn’t take the credit for the performances because, without him, I would’ve been nothing. Between performances, though, we fell apart. He wasn’t the same Patrick I knew and loved. He became lost in a nightmare, one he couldn’t wake up from. He rarely smiled - they were few and far between. I missed them. I missed him.
***
Over the next year, our friendship changed. I realized that my Patrick was never coming back and although I accepted it, it wasn’t easy. The memories didn’t stop playing in my mind. I wanted to reverse time.
Then one day he needed me - needed me to care, for support, as a comfort. I’d already moved past my loss. I didn’t know how to react, didn’t know how to help anymore.
I began walking away - that’s what everyone does. I walked away from the boy with talent and a bright future because he wasn’t the boy we knew. His soul’s beautiful melody had become tattered and broken so I defied gravity. The bad days had come - everything can’t stay perfect forever.
4.29.2009
star gazing makes
your eyes sparkle.
hold my hand, steal
my heart.
say my name, i'll profess
my love.
trick me; trip me;
push me
deeper.
show me that i'm
what you think about
late at night
when
sleep
won't
hit
dozing eyes.
help me fall.
harder.
into your pit.
pull me from my
comatose.
don't push my tears
from squinted eyes.
take me as your
own.
share the spot
you've saved only
with me.
awaken in me a
replenished life.
starve me
for a t t e n t i o n.
forget to look
my way.
notice me like i
notice you.
pull me closer.
let me slip into sweet,
sweet
nothings.
then tell me you love me.
don't take it back.
your eyes sparkle.
hold my hand, steal
my heart.
say my name, i'll profess
my love.
trick me; trip me;
push me
deeper.
show me that i'm
what you think about
late at night
when
sleep
won't
hit
dozing eyes.
help me fall.
harder.
into your pit.
pull me from my
comatose.
don't push my tears
from squinted eyes.
take me as your
own.
share the spot
you've saved only
with me.
awaken in me a
replenished life.
starve me
for a t t e n t i o n.
forget to look
my way.
notice me like i
notice you.
pull me closer.
let me slip into sweet,
sweet
nothings.
then tell me you love me.
don't take it back.
rough draft.
11th grade writing assesment.
opinions?
He’s walking away. That’s what everyone does, leaves. It’s tragic, really. A boy full of talent and a bright future, but he’s changed so much from who we used to know.
***
Freshman year was lonely until I found my place. His name was Jacob. His soul sang a beautiful melody that became my gravitational pull toward him. We were both a bit tattered and broken finding in each other what we’d lost in ourselves.
Jacob was much like me, just better at it. We fed off each others moods, seemingly being one. Jacob brought many questions and beliefs, astounding me with the depth of his mind. He opened my eyes to the best and worst parts of the world.
But the bad days came - everything can’t stay perfect forever.
The first was in the parking lot. He’d been upset all day, not telling me why. I’d done everything I could to see his pearly whites. That night, he was a different Jacob, one I couldn’t stand, spitting out short, precise words meant to cut like daggers. I exploded in the car. My screaming was deafening, even to me.
His tears fell - my big, strong Jacob was weeping. I’d never seen a boy cry before. I slipped the car in park and wrapped my arms around him. We stayed like that for hours – tears pouring, just hoping everything would get better. This was the first and last time Jacob needed me like I needed him.
I fell in love that night. I knew his tears were for her, the girl who played with his heart and hurt him so badly, but I did it anyway. A terrible idea, I was sure, but I couldn’t stop it. It was beyond my power.
***
Jacob had a profound love and respect for the arts, as did I. They, along with each other, are what held our frayed edges together as long as they could. Jacob's abilities were prodigious. I could have listened to him play the piano forever. His music evoked emotions in me that I was not aware I possessed. I was beyond ecstatic when he wrote a song for me.
“I think maybe you’ll be the one who will save me from all of this and maybe you are the one I need to be with me.” It’s beautiful chords still play in my mind, taking me back. With a simple song, Jacob had saved me.
Still, we fought terribly - both stubborn and sure of ourselves, everything turned into a battle. On a constant rollercoaster, I became weary and sick. Terrible, spiteful words would be said out of anger and they tore me apart. I held on because I knew that the sun would shine again, the smiles would return.
Our friendship became “award-winning.” We did acting pieces together that astounded crowds. Our chemistry reverberated off the walls. Jacob and I go lost inside our characters. People loved watching us; our lines and movements done precisely, but as if they were new every time. I was always so proud of him. I felt I couldn’t take the credit for the performances because, without him, I would’ve been nothing.
Between performances, though, we would fall apart. He wasn’t the same Jacob I knew and loved. He was lost in a nightmare, one he couldn’t wake up from. His smiles were few and far between. I missed them. I missed him.
***
Over the next year, our friendship changed. I realized that my Jacob was never coming back and although I accepted it, it wasn’t easy. The memories didn’t stop playing in my mind. I wanted my best friend back, but I wasn’t sure he’d call me that anymore.
Then one day he needed me - needed me to care, for support, as a comfort. I’d already moved past my loss. I didn’t know how to react, didn’t know how to help anymore.
I began walking away because that’s what everyone does. I walked away from the boy with talent and a bright future because he wasn’t the boy I used to know. His soul’s beautiful melody had become tattered and broken. The bad days had come -everything can’t stay perfect forever.
opinions?
He’s walking away. That’s what everyone does, leaves. It’s tragic, really. A boy full of talent and a bright future, but he’s changed so much from who we used to know.
***
Freshman year was lonely until I found my place. His name was Jacob. His soul sang a beautiful melody that became my gravitational pull toward him. We were both a bit tattered and broken finding in each other what we’d lost in ourselves.
Jacob was much like me, just better at it. We fed off each others moods, seemingly being one. Jacob brought many questions and beliefs, astounding me with the depth of his mind. He opened my eyes to the best and worst parts of the world.
But the bad days came - everything can’t stay perfect forever.
The first was in the parking lot. He’d been upset all day, not telling me why. I’d done everything I could to see his pearly whites. That night, he was a different Jacob, one I couldn’t stand, spitting out short, precise words meant to cut like daggers. I exploded in the car. My screaming was deafening, even to me.
His tears fell - my big, strong Jacob was weeping. I’d never seen a boy cry before. I slipped the car in park and wrapped my arms around him. We stayed like that for hours – tears pouring, just hoping everything would get better. This was the first and last time Jacob needed me like I needed him.
I fell in love that night. I knew his tears were for her, the girl who played with his heart and hurt him so badly, but I did it anyway. A terrible idea, I was sure, but I couldn’t stop it. It was beyond my power.
***
Jacob had a profound love and respect for the arts, as did I. They, along with each other, are what held our frayed edges together as long as they could. Jacob's abilities were prodigious. I could have listened to him play the piano forever. His music evoked emotions in me that I was not aware I possessed. I was beyond ecstatic when he wrote a song for me.
“I think maybe you’ll be the one who will save me from all of this and maybe you are the one I need to be with me.” It’s beautiful chords still play in my mind, taking me back. With a simple song, Jacob had saved me.
Still, we fought terribly - both stubborn and sure of ourselves, everything turned into a battle. On a constant rollercoaster, I became weary and sick. Terrible, spiteful words would be said out of anger and they tore me apart. I held on because I knew that the sun would shine again, the smiles would return.
Our friendship became “award-winning.” We did acting pieces together that astounded crowds. Our chemistry reverberated off the walls. Jacob and I go lost inside our characters. People loved watching us; our lines and movements done precisely, but as if they were new every time. I was always so proud of him. I felt I couldn’t take the credit for the performances because, without him, I would’ve been nothing.
Between performances, though, we would fall apart. He wasn’t the same Jacob I knew and loved. He was lost in a nightmare, one he couldn’t wake up from. His smiles were few and far between. I missed them. I missed him.
***
Over the next year, our friendship changed. I realized that my Jacob was never coming back and although I accepted it, it wasn’t easy. The memories didn’t stop playing in my mind. I wanted my best friend back, but I wasn’t sure he’d call me that anymore.
Then one day he needed me - needed me to care, for support, as a comfort. I’d already moved past my loss. I didn’t know how to react, didn’t know how to help anymore.
I began walking away because that’s what everyone does. I walked away from the boy with talent and a bright future because he wasn’t the boy I used to know. His soul’s beautiful melody had become tattered and broken. The bad days had come -everything can’t stay perfect forever.
4.26.2009
his story. <3
we were going to a party. me, neal, louis, cookie and sam. we all managed to cram into the back of joy's car somehow. we wernt exactly sure where we were going but we needed something to do. we were following another car, and we ended up in a cul-de-sac. we were told to park away from the house because they thought their neighbors might call the cops. So we parked away from the house, got out of the car and stood around while our eyes adjusted to the darkness of the night. as our eyes adjusted, the people in the car who we were following exited their car
i couldnt identify any of them so i just minded my business as we followed them to the house
while we were walking someone said something smart and i cracked a joke thinking nothing of it
this superrrrr cute girl turned around and laughed. we chit chatted for a moment or two until we got to the house and were let in. i milled about as there was nooone at the the party that i readily knew, so i stuck around my friends who were there with me, still thinking about that cute girls laugh. i noticed that she had taken a seat at the table with one of her friends and one of mine, so i decided to have a seat aswell. she looked extremely annoyed or bored, maybe both, so i couldnt work up the courage to talk to her. after 5 mins or so she got up and walked off. i went to go look for her but she had already left, i then decided that i would see if i could get her number off of her friend who was still present at the party. alas, when i returned to the table, her friend was gone also. feeling abandoned and slightly humiliated, i gathered my partied out friends, and left the party. Still wondering "what if?" That girl with the most memorable laugh is still in my mind. THEEEEEE ENDDDDDD.
if i tell you i love you, can i keep you forever?
_ casper.
i couldnt identify any of them so i just minded my business as we followed them to the house
while we were walking someone said something smart and i cracked a joke thinking nothing of it
this superrrrr cute girl turned around and laughed. we chit chatted for a moment or two until we got to the house and were let in. i milled about as there was nooone at the the party that i readily knew, so i stuck around my friends who were there with me, still thinking about that cute girls laugh. i noticed that she had taken a seat at the table with one of her friends and one of mine, so i decided to have a seat aswell. she looked extremely annoyed or bored, maybe both, so i couldnt work up the courage to talk to her. after 5 mins or so she got up and walked off. i went to go look for her but she had already left, i then decided that i would see if i could get her number off of her friend who was still present at the party. alas, when i returned to the table, her friend was gone also. feeling abandoned and slightly humiliated, i gathered my partied out friends, and left the party. Still wondering "what if?" That girl with the most memorable laugh is still in my mind. THEEEEEE ENDDDDDD.
if i tell you i love you, can i keep you forever?
_ casper.
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